"Even a Miracle needs a hand"

     There is this Christmas show that I love, ( I know Christmas in April i'm crazy!). Its the story of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" with a twist. The story is Narrated by father mouse, he tells of a terrible Christmas where Santa almost didn't come. The reason behind Santa not stopping by this little town was all the fault of his own son. As they go through the movie father mouse and his son find a way to fix things, but they need a miracle. Father mouse sings this song to his son and it is one of my most favorites.

Even A Miracle Needs a Hand

Miracles happen most every day
to people like you and me
but don’t expect a miracle
unless you help make it to be

You hope while I hurry
You pray while I plan
We’ll do what’s necessary cause
Even a miracle needs a hand

You love and I’ll labor
You sit while I stand
Get help from a next door neighbor cause
Even a miracle needs a hand

We’ll help our maker
to make our dreams come true
but I can’t do it alone
So here’s what we’re gonna do

You hope while I hurry
You pray while I plan
We’ll do what’s necessary cause
Even a miracle needs a hand

We’ll help our maker
to make our dreams come true
but we can’t do it alone
So what are we’re gonna do

You wish while I whittle
You drip while I dry
Lets all try to help a little cause
Even a miracle needs a hand

I have been blessed in my life to witness many miracles, some big and some small. As I watch and pray for these miracles especially in my own life the words of this song always come to mind. God is there and He loves us and He wants to send us those miracles but we have to put in our own effort. We can't sit by and just expect Him to do all the work. Sometimes even after we put in all the work the miracle doesn't come in the way we wanted it to, or at all. I don't feel that this is God turning His back on us, I feel it might just be part of something bigger that we don't understand and I think its ok that we don't. As long as we still believe in miracles and keep working for them I think things will all turn out in the end. 

After our placement failed last year after a year of things falling through in the adoption world our hearts were left  pretty bruised. Not only did we lose time, money, resource and a baby but we were begging to lose hope. We had many outsiders hitting us with their horrible thoughts on adoption and what seemed like every aspect of our lives, our daughters life and her birth families. We just couldn't do the negativity anymore our hearts were hurt enough as it was. We felt like every agency was only in it for money and that the price had almost tripled over the last few years. We did everything within our means to find the funds to adopt again, but it just wasn't enough. I remember many nights praying for a miracle, that somehow the money would come, that we could get one more loan, a raise at work, a rich unknown relative coming out of the wood works, winning the publishers clearing house, a random check in the mail, I imagined it all. In the end this miracle was not meant for us. The money never came and we had to pass up situation after situation. There just comes a point when you say enough is enough. We hit that point in November when we had to face the choice of renewing our home study or not. After much prayer and many conversations and sleepless nights we decided not to renew it. We felt it was time for a different path. As hard as it was to give up on this for a season the minute we made the choice my anxiety softened. There was just no one like Vivi's first Mommy, she was and is our angel. I realized that in this search we had been on it wasn't just our baby we couldn't find, it was a birth mom as kind, loving, courageous, wise and perfect for us as mommy Brandy. Her and I were meant to share this role as Vivi's mommies and I couldn't think of doing that with anyone else, and I think that might be part of why this time was so much harder. Vivi's first mommy set the bar high and we are grateful for that! [We miss her everyday and know that she is watching over her babies.] Knowing that in my heart helped calm my sorrows as we looked at the road ahead towards our miracle...

And so.... To Be Continued