Our Story
Nick and I met in September of 2010, shortly after we both returned from our missions. Some might call it love at first sight, but I like to refer to it as mutual awkwardness at first sight. From our first date to the day we were engaged we were inseparable. We spent all our time together, it didn't take us long to realize we couldn't live without each other. On November 13th 2010 Nick asked me to be his wife, and that is where our journey really begins.
On the day Nick proposed we went to lunch together just the two of us. We had been talking about our futures and what we wanted out of life, I told Nick that I wanted a big family, but part of that family needed to come from thailand and by way of adoption. I was rather surprised at his reaction. This was not the first time we'd talked of adoption, but it was the first time we'd talked of it as part of our life together. I was pleased to see that this was part of his plan as well (maybe not so much thailand, but adoption), he whole heartedly agreed that we would one day bring our baby girl home from thailand. Little did i know what The Lord had in store for us up ahead. Looking back I see the tender mercies of The Lord preparing me for the sorrow and loss we would soon suffer.
After a long 7 months of being engaged, on May 18, 2011 in the Salt Lake Temple Nick and I were finally married, we had begun our forever family! Nick and I were very eager to bring children in our home. We knew we wanted to be parents rather quickly. After a few months of trying with not much success we decided that it meant we should start the adoption process. We were not to concerned about fertility issues, we had put our plans in the hands of The Lord and felt it was just his way of saying, adopt first. We excitedly told our families of our plans and desires, however like all best laid plans of mice and men there were some problems and concerns we had to face. The biggest obstaclewas financial concerns along with which agency to choose, which then lead to the issues of not having been married for 2 years. With all of these bumps in the road and much concern from family to try for a biological child first, we decided to keep trying to get pregnant with a doctors appointment months down the road. We felt this was a good way to pass the time till we hit our 2 year anniversary.
November 13th 2012, just 2 years after Nick asked me to be his wife, with one phone call our whole lives changed. That day we heard from the doctor that we would not be able to have children. The typical fertility issues were not something we faced and there was not much anyone can really do for us. It was and unfair hand that was dealt our way. The pain and sorrow that has followed that phone call has been indescribable. I tired to cling to the hope of the children I longed for through adoption, but even that at time was not enough to calm the heart ache. I now realize it is a pain that will never leave, it is one I will carry with me my whole life. What will make the difference is how i choose to deal with that pain. I will admit at time is has consumed me, it has left me empty and heartbroken. I am so grateful for Nick who has been strong enough to carry us through, he is a rock and full of such faith. Through this whole process he never lost sight of our goal.
With this new diagnoses our whole plans changed. We knew that adoption was going to be our only hope of a forever family so we jumped in with both feet. We knew the house we were renting would not be approved of in a home study so we set out to buy a house. January 2013 we closed on our lovely home in Bountiful Ut. We have fallen in love with the area and the neighbors and the dogs love the space they have to run. we know this is the place to raise our family. We are now on the journey to our forever family. We have fundraisers planned and look forward with hope and faith to next month when we will celebrate our 2 year anniversary and be able to officially being the adoption process.
The road has not been easy, we know it will not be an easy process and as much as i wish it would adoption does not make the pain of infertility disappear, it does however give us hope, and joy. We know The Lord has a plan and we trust that he will lead us to our children. We invite you to share our story, to anyone that wants to help us on this journey or share the pains and joys of your own journey.
1 comment:
Hi Tabitha! I stumbled upon your blog and must say... you are so strong and courageous to have shared the most painful thing in your life with others through this blog. I know a small amount of the pain you're going through as me and my husband have been trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years now with no luck. We've done some tests with nothing turning up and are scheduled for more still but it is just so emotionally draining trying to achieve this wonderful blessing that is supposed to be our calling in life. I think you guys are incredible to be dealing with all that you have been and with making the decision to move forward with adoption. We've also had a strong feeling toward adopting at some point in our marriage too, but are not quite to that point yet we feel. It's a decision only you two and the Lord can make together. I wish you luck on your journey to expanding your cute little family!
Hugs,
Kari
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