6 months of Gratitude

All month long I've watched and listened as people have been expressing gratitude. November seems to have the affect on people. What better way to usher in the holidays then with a day of gratitude. November has held big things for us, November is when Nick asked me to marry him and when we found out we were infertile, and adoption awareness month, But this year it's the month our sweet baby girl turned 6 months old. We have so much to be grateful for!

6 months old.

The last 5 months for us has been pure bliss. Our little girl has brought so much joy to our lives and all those she is around. Adoption has truly blessed and changed our lives! We are so grateful for Viv's amazing brithmom. She has so much love for this little girl. This Month we are grateful for her and giving us this blessed opportunity to be parents. We couldn't imagine life without our sweet little angle in it. She numbs the pain of infertility and brings more joy then we ever thought possible in our lives. We are so blessed to be part of the adoption family. 

Viv got to have pictures take by sweet pickles photography. Kari did such and amazing job of capturing viv's personality and her beauty. We love these pictures! 

Over the past few months we have made some fun memories, and had some big events. In August we were able to give Viv a name and a blessing. This is something I have waited my whole life for, there is something so sweet about a baby blessing. Nick did such a beautiful job and brought such a sweet spirit to the meeting that day. We felt so loved by all the people who came out to support us and especially Viv. I am so grateful for the gospel in our lives, i'm especially grateful for a husband who holds and honors his priesthood. 

My awesome fiends that came! 

Viv and her Daddy

Nick's awesome friends!

Grandma and her sisters 

We love Kim and Kaylee

Great Grandpa and the boys

This girl is so loved by her cousins

C and Viv

My Dad and Nick

Uncle Ian 

Aunt Hannah

Aunt Hayley, Carson & Stratton

Uncle A.J. and Aunt Andrea

Uncle Levi, Aunt Marissa, Finn, Lila & Gwen

Grandpa & Grandma

Our little family

We didn't get pictures of everyone that came, but we are so grateful for all those that made the effort, it was a beautiful day. Now we look forward to December when we get to go to the temple and become a forever family! 

I am so grateful for temples, eternal families, and adoption. We truly have a blessed life! 

We are looking forward to a joyful wonderful holiday season! 

(Thanks again Sweet Pickles Photography for the amazing pictures!)

Becoming a Family

Our "Birth" Story :

I'm not entirely sure where to begin our story. After our failed adoption we were left with little hope, but Nick and I were not going to let the failure keep us down. We got back to work and started finding new ways to raise funds for our adoption. Nick and I were busily going about life when one friday morning we got a call...

Firday May 30th- Nick and I recieved a call from our agency telling us that we did not get picked by the birthmother who was currently viewing our profile. They also said that they had a baby for us and asked if we would be interested. All the informaiton we had at the time was that it was a baby girl and we would need to fly out that day. I was so excited I didn't even have words to express myself, I called Nick and immediatley we went to work on getting a flight and hotel. Looking back I see what a risk this could have been for us. We knew nothing about the Birthmom or the Birthfather, we had no medical history on them or they baby; we were walking into this blindly. From the moment they told us about her, it all felt right; we knew that no matter what issues there were, this was our baby. A few hours later we got a call back from the agency. We were sitting on pins and needles scared that things would fall through like last time. This time when they agency called they had more information. Our baby girl was born premature, she was already a month old and was supposed to be released from the hospital; however as life would have it her heart rate dropped and she had to be in the hospital for a few more days. This gave Nick and I some time to get a few things in order before taking off.

Tuesday June 3rd- After an anxious weekend of waiting and having to keep our news to ourselves (still being worried that things would fall through.) Nick and I recieved a call that our little girl was released from the hospital and we needed leave. We went home put some clothes in a suitcase and were on our way to the airport. We met up with the representative from the agency and flew to our baby girl. We got in about midnight and headed to the hotel...next morning we would be meeting our little girl.

Wedensday June 4th- After getting no sleep, Nick and I sat in our hotel room just waiting for the call to go sign the papers. Finally about 11 am we were told to go meet with the case worker, we signed all the papers and were offically parents. As we sat waiting for the birth family and our little girl I don't think I have ever been so nervous! Finally we heard a knock on the door this was it, we were going to meet our girl. The birth family walked in and there was a feeling of complete peace. They were all perfect, it was like meeting old friends. We talked for a few minutes and then decided we should all go out to eat. We went to a restuarant down the street and had lunch as a big family. It was a perfect day. After lunch we said goodbye and parted ways. So many emotions flowed through me there is no way I could explain them all; being part of this was nothing short of a miracle. Our little girl has the most amazing birth mom, she was everything we could have asked for. She was strong and intelligent, pretty, kind and funny. She loved this little girl with all her heart. She provided love and support for her for the first month of her life and was now placing her with a family that longed for her. She will never truly understand the hero she is in my life. She gave us the one thing we wanted most in life and could not give ourselves. She is the strongest woman I know. We will think of her everyday and tell our little girl about what an amazing birthmother she has. It truly was a blessed experience. After walking though this process I see how much Heavenly Father knows each one of us, He loves us and wants us all to be happy. Sometimes we have to walk through the pain to find the joy.

On May 6th we thought our world was over, we had just lost a child and felt like we would never have a family. Little did we know that our baby girl was being born that day and in a short month we were united with her. We are now a very happy famiy of 3 plus 2 puppies :) life at this point just all makes sense.

We know there will be trials down the road; it will not be easy. Our baby was born 8 weeks early and because of that may have a few complications. The thing we know is this is our baby girl, and we will do anything for her! We will give her the best we can in life. We are proud to welcome to our family Vivian Lois, our little angel.

Welcome Home Vivian Lois

Lifted through Failer: Pink Flamingos & Chocolate Bars

There is no great way to begin this story. It has been awhile since we updated our blog I think we have been waiting to post some good news. Sadly this is not a story with a happy ending, but it is our story so here it goes.

Monday April 28th- Nick and I had a conference call with a birth mom who had chosen to place her baby with us. We were beyond excited, blessed and every other emotion of joy that you can imagine. I was in California for a head start conference and Nick was left here at home to get things together. The baby was being born the following Monday and we would have to travle out of state. There was so much to do and it was hard being gone the whole week. We saw miracles happen with friends, neigbors and family stepping up to help us. We had gifts deliverd for our baby girl, bags packed for our flight we were ready to go. Nick and I were both able to get time off work and we were ready to add another member to our family.

Monday May 5th- Our baby girl was born, we waited all day with exitement to hear how things were going and when we would be able to fly out and go meet our baby. It was a week of sleepless nights and this night was one of the worst.

Tuesday May 6th- Around 12:00 in the afternoon I got a call from Nick, the call I prayed with all my heart we would never get. The birth mom had changed her mind and we would not be bringing our baby home after all.

There are no words for sorrow like that. The day before we had a healthy baby girl and the next thing we knew she was someone elses. I think we were both unsure how to process the loss we were facing. We felt sorrow and anger and frustration almost all at the same time. I felt like I would never be whole again. Nick and I both took the rest of the day off and came home to cry, our phones were going crazy with people call and texting to find out what was happening. I didn't know how to tell all the people who had been praying for that we had failed.

I felt like somehow in all this it was my fault, that I did something wrong and that is why we didn't have our baby. I was so grateful for our family and friends that helped spread the news so that we didn't have to. The pain of watching so many loved ones feel sorrow over our loss was overwhelming to me. I didn't want to see people I loved going through pain because of  our loss, that thought was a great lesson for me.

Christ commands us to mourn with those that mourn, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. I always thought I knew what that meant. After our adoption failed I learned what it really means to comfort and mourn for others. As our news of our loss quickly spreed we started to hear words of kindness from people. Support that we were not going through this sorrow alone started to lift us through the darkness. Support came in many ways, hearing that people we didn't even know were upset, angery and sad for us. I realized as I heard from friends and family of these people that were sadened by our news that, this is what the savior meant when he said "mourn with those that morun." Strangers to us were feeling our loss and sorrow and even thought they maybe didn't feel it how we felt it they were mourning on our behalf. The peace that came because of others was comfort I did not expect. Many asked how they could comfort us, we had no answer but there were so many people who were able to bring us comfotrt and continue to bring us comfot. When no words can be spoken to offer comfort somtimes its through simple actions. Dinner, hugs, retaile therapy, chocolate bars, pink flamingos, flowers, movies. These were just some of the simple acts of love and kindness we recieved from loving friends and family and some unknown friends. As mothers day approced just 5 days after our loss I was unsure of how I was going to make it through the day. I have and amazing mother, the perfect mother, raised 6 of us kids and sacrficed so much for each of us. As I thought of her my heart ached for the chance to become like her. The sorrow of our loss seemed to grow, it was satruday evening when our doorbell rang and there were some flowers and a note. A simple note that said, "thinking about you". Those words of kindness reminded me I was not the only one suffering this mothers day and that I had love and support all around me.

Over the past few weeks I have felt comforted when I was in need and mourned with while I mourned. It was those actions thoughts and words that have and are carring us through thise trial. I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who knows us and loves us. I know He feels what we are going through, and sends angles to lift us through the failure. I know that through the strength of others we will be lifted and carried through and we will find peace. While this loss with always remain with us and when we think of it we will feel sorrow, we will be able to press on and continue to fight for our cause.

We are still continuing with adoption, and for anyone who would like to help us on this journey we have a Donate button on the blog, all the money goes towards brining our baby home! Thank you for all the love and support that we have recived from so many of you!

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before christmas, at Grandma Becky's....

Arriving at Grandma Becky's Christmas eve party
It was an old fashioned Christmas theme 

Nick's Favorite picture of the night, a picture with pops and Nick's creepy mustache 

waiting for the party to begin with Nick's cousin and his new girlfriend 

Listening to grandma read "the night before christmas" while wearing our kerchief and cap.


We had a blast this Christmas and we were very blessed. We got almost everything on our list. Just one things was missing and we hope it arrives soon, we could sure use some help from all of you!
Please share our profile with everyone yo know. We know we have a baby that needs to join our family!
We hope you all had a Merry Christmas!
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"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"